Slow but steady progress

My friends Allison and Mark are slowly improving every day. They have both been released from the hospital but will be spending some time at a rehabilitation center until they are back on his feet. Allison still doesn't have the use of her right side but her speech is improving every day. The doctors say to give it time.

We are definitely going for a visit this weekend. We have 2 days off for the July 4th holiday which means we can drive up instead of fly. We didn't really have many plans for the weekend and I'd really like to see my friends. Plus it will give me a chance to visit with another friend, Mel and meet her new daughter. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea.

Some other news...we are getting another puppy. B likes our current dog's breed so much, he won't even consider getting another kind of dog so we've been searching and waiting for a litter to be born. We finally heard from the breeder that a puppy is ours and will be ready to pick up in 4 weeks - http://rainbowridgekennels.com/IkeBabym.jpg. We aren't sure how our only child is going to react to a new sibling. Time will tell. We are still searching for a name for the new puppy. B has too many rules about dog names. It can't be a human name, nothing whimpy, should be unique (heaven forbid that someone else has a dog with the same name), etc. Any suggestions are VERY WELCOME!

Remember when we were invincible?

When you are young, you often feel invincible. Nothing can go wrong. You let friends surf on your car because nothing bad could really happen, right? You pull stupid stunts because you don't think about consequences. As you grow older, this mindset usually changes. At least for most of us it does. Recently, I was surprised to hear that two 30-something guys were street racing in Toronto. When I first heard about the street racing, I had assumed it was young kids who still thought they were invincible. Wouldn't 30-somethings know better?

I was horrified to hear that a good friend of mine from high school (who I still stay in contact with) and her fiancee were badly injured when one of the street racers' car went out of control, crossed over into oncoming traffic and hit their car. Mark suffered 2 broken legs and Allison suffered a stroke that left her unable to talk and one side of her body paralyzed. The street racer was killed.

This accident really got to me. I've never really had something bad happen to any of my close family or friends. At least not something that made me think, this could happen to me. I also keep wondering, why them? They had just gotten engaged, bought a house, got a new puppy, they are some of the nicest people you will ever meet...

I'm trying to decide if I will take a trip up the Toronto this summer to visit. Sending flowers just doesn't seem like enough. It's difficult since I'm so far away. My thoughts are constantly with Allison and Mark and everyone is hoping for a full recovery for both of them. I'm really looking forward to dancing at their wedding next year.

Can I be the better person?

For the most part, my family gets along really well together. It's rare that there are fights or problems unless you throw one of my aunts into the picture. She was in the air force for many years and not around much. She retired a while back and moved back home (about a mile from my mom). Then things got interesting. Keep in mind, she now has a military attitude, never married, no kids.

One comment she has frequently made is that we (her nieces and nephews) should be nicer to her if we want anything from her when she dies. Who says I want anything?!? My mom's response to that was that my aunt should be nicer to us or no one will take care of her when she gets old (my mom ROCKS!). There have been many incidences over the years where she has pissed off various members of the family. I've never really liked her that much as a person but she's family...you deal with the bad stuff and move on.

I'm now to a point where I don't want to forgive and forget. Due to a limitation in the number of people we could invite to our wedding in California, the only family invited were our parents and siblings. We would have liked to includes some of our "favorite" family members but didn't think it would be fair to invite some aunts/uncles/cousins but not all. My aunt took exception to this. She did not come to the family bridal shower or the reception party in Peoria we held specifically to include the family not invited to California.

Because of this and MANY previous issues, I don't really want anything to do with her anymore. She has basically acted like nothing is wrong. I try to be polite but I tend to avoid the vicinity of wherever she is and I never strike up any conversations with her. Over Memorial Day weekend, my family had a gathering. My aunt had picked up a bunch of freebies at an event she went to recently and started passing them out to everyone. I handed mine back and said, "No, thanks". She asked how my job was going. I said, "Fine". That was the extent of our interaction.

Do I continue to avoid her? Do I confront her about my feelings? Do I just let it go and continue to deal with the conflicts, issues and tension she causes in the family? This last one won't be easy. Then again, none of the options are easy.