Trying

I'm trying to make an effort to be more social but various forces (internal and external) are working against me. I sent in a membership registration for our local neighborhood association over a month ago but have not heard anything. The check I sent has not been cashed either. WTF? I sent an email to find out if it was received. If there is no response to that in a few days, I'll contact someone else on the association board.

I've decided that we should have a wine tasting party at our house. I just can't seem to get moving to start planning it. Ugh! Which weekend to have it? Who to invite? What to serve? Is our babysitter available? I will forge ahead anyway.

I also have to battle against insecurities when it comes to being social. Some former friends burned me pretty bad a few years ago and I've been pretty gun shy when inviting people to do things. This thought always goes through my head... Do they really want to do this thing with me or are they just being nice or feel obligated? If I invite someone to go grab some lunch a few times but never receive a reciprocal invite, I stop doing the inviting. Maybe it's silly but like I said, gun shy.

I'm also trying to think of a fault of mine and work on changing it. Not just any old fault, something big. I decided to do this because I read on another person's blog that they were working on changing how judgemental they are. This is a trait I thought was this person's biggest problem and the main reason we aren't really friends anymore. You are probably wondering why I'm reading a blog of someone I'm not friends with anymore...I know. It's not healthy but call me nosy.

Hmmmm - nosy. Maybe that's my change. If I hear a conversation nearby, resist the urge to add my 2 cents. Even if they have asked a question and can't answer it. Don't pipe in. No more reading blogs of former friends. It's not monumental but it's a start.