Painting again

We actually won out against the desire to procrastinate and painted this weekend. The weather was fairly warm so we decided to paint the new windows before it got too cold out to paint. We only got 2 windows done - it took A LOT longer than we thought it would. Seems to be the case with most projects. The windows are now protected against the elements. One less thing to be concerned about.

It was not exactly how I wanted to spend my birthday but B made up for it. We went out for a really nice dinner on Saturday night (got dressed up and everything). Sunday we painted but while we waited the 2 hours for the final coat to dry, we drove up to Cedarburg for some carmel apples from Amy's Candy Kitchen. I LOVE THOSE CARMEL APPLES!!! If you think you have had some good ones yourself, you are WRONG. Nothing can compare to Amy's. It is now becoming an annual tradition for me to make the 40 minute drive up to Cedarburg just for a carmel apple. They are so stocked with sugar and calories, I try to limit my consumption. Good thing it is not too close to my home.

So my birthday dinner consisted of a steak (B grills an awesome one), Stove Top stuffing (it sounded good at the time), and a carmel apple. This more than makes up for doing renovation work on my birthday.

Procrastinator Central

B and I have some things in common that aren't very beneficial to the relationship. One of them is the art of procrastination. I personally think I am the Queen of Procrastination and B is pretty good at it too (although not as good as I am). I believe this is one of the reasons why our upstairs renovation is not yet complete. It is very hard to be stuck inside tiling, painting, or staining when it is sunny and 80 degrees outside.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), the 80 degree days are now gone (*sniff*) so we no longer have that excuse. This weekend, we are dedicating our time to painting and staining. I'm not really excited about this. We've reached the point in the renovation where we have lost interested, tired of working on it, BUT really want to get it done! I have other things that I'd rather do this weekend like shop for a new outfit for the reception party in 2 weeks. I will either have to make a quick shopping trip or put it off until next weekend. I'd much rather go shopping so it will be a struggle to avoid another bout of procrastination on the renovations.

Speaking of the party, I'm really excited! It will almost be like a high school reunion but only with the people I really want to see. All of my high school girlfriends are coming down along with some other old friends I haven't seen in a while and I can't wait to see everyone!!!

Hard to trust

I've always found it very hard to trust people. I am not the type of person who has lots of friends and acquantences, it's usually a select few. I blame this partially on all the moving around I have done during my life. Why invest too much in a relationship when I'll be moving in a year or two? However, when I find that person that I really click with, I put my heart into it.

With most people I am close to, I usually try to let the little stuff go. I get mad about something, stew about it for a day or so, then get over it. I recognize that there are some things not worth getting upset over or starting a fight over (a bit of wisdom I managed to acquire over the years). Everyone has their breaking point, though. When the little things really pile up or bigger things happen, that trust starts to crumble. I start to question the meaning behind every conversation, every motive, every action. It can become an obsession. I lose sleep. I can't stop thinking about that comment someone made or if there is some hidden meaning behind an email. It's like a disease eating away at me and (unfortunately) at my self-confidence.

This doesn't apply only to relationships with men, but also to women I am friends with. Once that trust is in pieces, I really try not to get my hopes up about anything to do with that person. BUT my optimistic personality often overrides the pessimistic little voice inside my head that keeps saying - you are going to be dissapointed. This optimistic side of me also tends to think the best of people I am close to (or at least thought I was close to).

This usually leads to me getting hurt. Not a fun feeling and it's been happening way too often lately. Combined with the the obsessing, it's emotionally draining. I think this is one reason why I haven't wanted to start up old friendships and really haven't put much effort into finding some friends outside of work. I'm sure my optimistic side will kick in soon and change that. Until then, I'll just be thankful for the true friends I DO have.

I'm back!

I'm officially a Mrs. And the answer to everyone's question? No, I don't feel any different. B and I have been living together for over 3 years and so far, not much has changed.

The wedding went off without any problems and it turned out to be a beautiful day. We spent a few days in San Francisco before heading up to Napa Valley. Toured a bit around the city but mostly greeted friends and family as they arrived for the wedding. Once in Calistoga, we went to a few wineries but mostly got stuff set up for the wedding.

Everyone met up for the barrel tasting tour at our winery on Friday. This was how we discovered the Silver Rose in the first place. On our first trip to Napa Valley, we read somewhere that they had the best tour (and they do!). Everyone seemed to enjoy the tour. The rehearsal and dinner followed the tour.

Day of the wedding, my maid of honor (Firecracker) and I went for a massage and to get our nails done. A great way to start a long day. We stopped to grab some lunch and then started getting ready. My new sister-in-law came over to do our hair (I really lucked out that she is a beautician!) and did a fabulous job. We were ready on time and started some pictures before the ceremony. B and I were torn about seeing each other before the ceremony but we saw each other that morning and we were concerned that there wouldn't be enought light for all the pictures after the late ceremony. Since we did them before the ceremony, we were able to go right to the champagne toast and dinner. BONUS!

The ceremony went off without a hitch. I had both my mom and dad walk me down the isle. Mom pretty much raised me and I'm much closer to her so I wanted to include her. I didn't shed any tears although there were plenty in my eyes ready to fall. I can ususally hold things together until I see or hear someone else crying. I looked over at B and saw tears in his eyes and just about lost it. I had to stare at his bow tie for a while to prevent myself from bawling. We then had a funny moment when I couldn't quite get B's ring on his finger all the way. After that, my composure had returned.

After the ceremony, we hiked around the vineyard fields for a while with the photographers to get some pictures. Then, on to the champagne toast. B's dad made a toast and shed a few tears (very sweet) and Firecracker followed it up with a great toast. Next was dinner. The food and cake were excellent! Luckily, all the vendors I picked did a great job without a lot of input from me.

The next day we headed south to Half Moon Bay. Spent a few days there and headed home. We decided to take our honeymoon next spring when we have more time and money. There is too much other stuff going on right now. We have the party coming up, finishing up renovations on the house and then the holidays. Next spring, I'll be able to relax and enjoy the honeymoon more!!!

The good, the bad & the ugly

Thought I would try to get in one last blog before leaving for the wedding. We are jetting to the west coast tomorrow to prepare for the wedding on Saturday. As usual, it's been a little busy lately so no time to blog.

Last week was ugly. I put over 1,000 miles on my car to give you a clue. Went to Champaign for recuriting. While there, I got a call from dad to let me know my aunt had died. She's been sick for a long time (colon cancer among other things) so it was probably a relief. I have sometimes felt bad over the years because I haven't visited my dad's family in Missouri in a long time. They are nice people but we didn't really enjoy visiting and since my parent's divorce, we haven't felt very inclined to visit.

The hardest part about the funeral was seeing my dad cry. We aren't very close but I think that's one of the hardest things to see - one of your parents upset. He's a pretty stoic guy and I can't ever remember him showing much emotion let alone cry.

One nice thing about the trip to Missouri was spending 6 hours in the car with my sister. We haven't always gotten along (especially while living together during college - lucky we even survived that) but since moving away from home, we've had a great relationship. It's been a while since I really talked to her. There's always someone else with us - mom, husbands/boyfriends, kids, etc. It's been a really long time since it was just the two of us on our own. I had a great time chatting with her.

One last thing... the invitations for the big wedding party in November FINALLY arrived. The paper was back-ordered. I wanted to send them out over a week ago but that didn't happen. The company I ordered them from is full of idiots. If I hadn't been a little raw from the funeral, I would have chewed the poor customer service person a new one. Since I wasn't in the mood, she got off easy! All is now good - the invitations are in the mail. I think I can actually relax a little.