Surrounded by Pink

B and I were in Peoria this weekend helping out my sister with her new house. They are doing the painting and tiling and not a lot of time to do it. We offered up our slave labor for the weekend. B laid cement board with my BIL and I painted along with my cousin, another volunteer slave.

Overall, I enjoyed myself. B and I both agreed that it is more relaxing to work on someone else's house. No responsibility, worries or stress because it not your house! I also got to spend some quality chat time with my cousin. It's rare that we are together on our own. Often, there are other family members with us. Because my sister had to work on Saturday morning (it's tax season you know) and my mom was watching my nieces, my cousin and I were the only one's painting.

It's times like these when I really miss being away from my family. I left Peoria because there weren't many opportunities for the job I wanted. I spent most of my younger years living far away from family so I'm kind of used to it. But getting used to it doesn't mean you like it.

About pink... My sister (for some demented reason) let her 3 1/2 year old pick out the color for her bedroom. It had to be pink. VERY PINK. Looks like someone went in the room and threw Peto Bismo on the wall. But, mini-A LOVES IT. My mom brought the girls over on Sunday afternoon and mini-A started dancing all over the place in glee. We are all hoping that by adding some furniture and neutral drapes, it will calm down the pink. If not, people will need sunglasses to enter.

Bad dream

I had a bad dream last night. There are many things that contributed to this dream I think.

1. My post from earlier today which I wrote sporatically throughout the day yesterday
2. My issue with shutting Auzzie's laptop screen last week and wondering how it would effect our friendship outside of work
3. My friend Mel had her baby (Vanessa Emily) on Feb 2nd and I feel bad because I haven't called yet to congratulate her
4. My friend Al emailed saying she just bought a house and I haven't yet responded. I really want to talk to her instead of emailing but haven't gotten around to it yet.

The list goes on... I was thinking yesterday what a bad friend I am lately. This is the result of my mental state:

B and I were on a business trip in California. We had just checked into the hotel and were walking up the stairs to our room when we spotted some people we know - Firecracker and Mrs. Seattle. This seemed VERY ODD to us. We stopped to say hi and I asked what they were doing here.

They both looked at each other and then at me. Their response was, "We decided to have a girls weekend." The details are a bit fuzzy here but the gist of it was, they had become really good friends (not in a lesbian kind of way) but didn't want me to know about it.

I was devastated. What the hell? I thought Firecracker agreed that Mrs. Seattle was not a nice person? All the issues I had had with Mrs. Seattle last year and here is my long-time friend, Firecracker, sneaking behind my back. I felt betrayed. (side note: this in NO WAY reflects my feelings towards Firecracker)

The dream then changes to us being in some sort of large office. There is a bunch of background noise, a few other people in the room (some guy's secratary?) and me, Firecracker and Mrs. Seattle. I start yelling at them (not something I usually do - I HATE CONFRONTATION). Things like, "Why would you do this?" and "Firecracker, don't you remember what she did to me last year?" I started letting out all the ugly truths I hadn't wanted to say last year. Not much of a response came from either of them although, I could feel the triumph eminating from Mrs. Seattle.

The rest of the dream is pretty hazy. I woke up about 30 minutes before the alarm went off feeling very sad. I even scooted over to snuggle up to B and my puppy just to make me feel better.

I think my general impression from the dream is that I need to take care of my friendship's better. Don't put off those phone calls and emails anymore. Get better about staying in touch. No, I don't think my friendship with Firecracker is in jeapordy but I know I can definitely work on being a better friend.

Words I always remember...

As a kid, my sister and I often butted heads. We were not the type to get physical about our disagreements. One reason behind that is my size versus my sister's. Even though I'm younger, I passed my petit sister up when I was about 5 or 6 so getting physical wasn't very smart on her part. Instead we liked to fling insults and yell at each other.

Because of our love for verbal abuse, my mom often said to us over the years, "If you can't say anything nice, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!" These words of wisdom have often come to mind, even as I became an adult. It came in handy at work when I really wanted to tell my former boss a few truths even though they weren't very nice. I kept them to myself and probably helped my career by doing so.

However, there are times when letting out the ugly truth is beneficial. At least to me it is and sometimes to the other person too. That's the problem. You never know how that other person will react to the ugly truth. It may end a friendship. However, in not wanting to say something potentially hurtful to another person, it ends up hurting me.

I recently read a comment written by a friend on another blog. I applaud that person for speaking the ugly truth after many years of keeping those potentially hurtful thoughts to themselves. I wasn't really able to do it myself. I still can't seem to do it. Mom drilled that lesson into me hard.

Happy (belated) V-day!

Valentine's Day was pretty uneventful. Our original aniversary was on Feb 3rd so B and I decided to combine that celebration with Valentine's day. That way, we didn't have to deal with crowded restaurants or shortages of chocolate. The slacker that I am, couldn't think of anything to get B so I didn't have a gift on the 3rd. This made me feel like a schmuck especially when he gave me a gift that day. Instead, I presented him with a V-day card and gift yesterday.

I picked up the card a while ago while I was waiting for my meds at Walgreen. I decided I wanted to get a card that was for my HUSBAND. Yes, the first official card to my husband. I almost had to give up the idea though because all the husband cards SUCKED. I'm more of a funny card person. It's very rare that I give a sappy card to someone. I'll even opt for a neutral or blank card before going to sappy. I eventually found an acceptable card and even picked up a Snickers Easter Egg for him.

That was the extent of my pre-planning. I couldn't think of anything good for a gift. Sure, he needs some underwear, a belt and some storage things for the garage but those didn't seem appropriate for V-day. I could have done something fun with underwear but the ones he really likes aren't that thrilling. White, Polo, cotton, boxer-like things (BORING). I thought about it for weeks with no inspiration.

In the end, I rushed over the Target last night after my workout and bought him the Simpson's 7th Season on DVD and a box of Giardelli's chocolate. The Simpson's is his all-time favorite show and he already has all the previous seasons. Giardelli's has recently become 'our' chocolate because it is made in San Fran, not far from where we were married. Not a really romantic day, but ok in my books.

Gone Tribal

I spent most of this weekend with my family (aka. the tribe). Since B and I went to U of I for a recruiting event, we decided to swing by mom's for a visit. It was also a belated birthday celebration for my mom.

Friday, I ended up working from a nearby cafe that had free wireless. Mom only has dial-up and I can't handle a connection that slow. Way too impatient. The wireless was still not as fast as home or work but it was definitely better than dial-up. I think back now and wonder how I ever got any work done from home on a dial-up connection. It probably explains why I didn't get into working from home until after I got a cable modem. Yes, I'm an internet connection snob.

Saturday, I made chocolate mousse for the birthday dinner and helped my mom take care of my nieces. My sister had to work (it's tax season) and the boys went to look for paint samples and supplies. I found out later that they spent most of the day at BW3's eating wings and drinking beer. Since he lives with a bunch of females, I think my brother-in-law deserved some time off for male bonding.

The rest of the tribe showed up later that day for the birthday feast. Unfortunately, we were a little bit slow getting the pork loin in the oven so we decided to eat everything else while the pork continued to cook. Luckily, it finished cooking just as we polished off the mashed potatoes and green beans. In hind sight, we should have just started with dessert!

Sunday we checked out the new house my sister is building. They are trying to decide on paint colors. This lead to us offering to help out with painting (something that I would have REALLY appreciated during our house renovations). Now we are going back to Peoria next weekend to splatter some walls with color. Not sure I'm real excited about this but I want to help out.

Diagnosis

I decided to go to the doctor after all. Turns out I do have a urinary infection after all. I now have some nice drugs that the doctor promised would fix me right up. Now I feel less like a hypochondriac.

Worry Wart

As usual, I obsessed over something that turned out to be no big deal. As I was typing out my apology, I got an instant message from the new girl. She apologized for not paying attention and being rude. I, in turn, apologized for shutting her laptop. Issue resolved.

Today, I'm working from home. I think I might have a bladder infection (lovely!). I can't decide whether to go to the doctor or not. It was pretty bad last night but this morning, not so bad. Normally, I would give it another day to see what happens because I HATE going to the doctor. It never fails that I feel fine by the time I get an appointment. The problem I have today is that I'm going out of town this afternoon and won't be back until Sunday night. I'd rather see my doctor than end up in some urgent care place on Friday. Why do these things happen at the most inconvenient time?

I'll see how it goes this morning and then decide once my doctor's office opens.

How to say sorry...

Yesterday, I crossed a line I normally wouldn't. I was in a meeting with a former teammate and the person who is taking over my old job. We were going through the stuff that is still open that the new person will need to be aware of and in some cases, take over ownership. Both people in the meeting I consider friends, not just co-workers.

The meeting started off late because the new girl was finishing up some stuff from a previous meeting that had ended a bit late. No big deal. I kept working on something of my own while I waited. And waited... Finally, I tried to get the meeting started because I had to leave at 5 so time was limited. It became very clear that the new girl wasn't paying attention. She was sending emails and chatting with people on-line instead of listening to what we were talking about. I was starting to get annoyed. To the point that I pointed out to her that she needed to pay attention (in a light manner so it didn't offend). This had little effect.

In my opinion, it's one thing to multi-task when you are in a meeting with many people and your full attention is not needed. I thought this situation was different. We were reviewing a list of action items that were now the new girl's responsibility. Her lack of attention was rude and I had plenty of other work to do.

The multi-tasking continued until I pushed her laptop screen down. I unintentionally pushed it down so far that the laptop went into hybernate mode. That got her attention! She was rather miffed that I had essentially shut down her computer. My response, "I don't care." Fellow bloggers, this is not an action I would normally take with a co-worker. I stepped across the line in part due to our friendship outside of work and in part because of my temper.

I do feel bad for my actions. It was very unprofessional of me. In hindsight, I should have asked that we reschedule the meeting for a better time. I want to say I'm sorry but I also want to make sure she knows that her lack of attention was rude. So far all of the apologies I've come up with haven't seemed like much of an apology. Should I just be the better person and say sorry without any comment on her rudeness?