How to say sorry...
Yesterday, I crossed a line I normally wouldn't. I was in a meeting with a former teammate and the person who is taking over my old job. We were going through the stuff that is still open that the new person will need to be aware of and in some cases, take over ownership. Both people in the meeting I consider friends, not just co-workers.
The meeting started off late because the new girl was finishing up some stuff from a previous meeting that had ended a bit late. No big deal. I kept working on something of my own while I waited. And waited... Finally, I tried to get the meeting started because I had to leave at 5 so time was limited. It became very clear that the new girl wasn't paying attention. She was sending emails and chatting with people on-line instead of listening to what we were talking about. I was starting to get annoyed. To the point that I pointed out to her that she needed to pay attention (in a light manner so it didn't offend). This had little effect.
In my opinion, it's one thing to multi-task when you are in a meeting with many people and your full attention is not needed. I thought this situation was different. We were reviewing a list of action items that were now the new girl's responsibility. Her lack of attention was rude and I had plenty of other work to do.
The multi-tasking continued until I pushed her laptop screen down. I unintentionally pushed it down so far that the laptop went into hybernate mode. That got her attention! She was rather miffed that I had essentially shut down her computer. My response, "I don't care." Fellow bloggers, this is not an action I would normally take with a co-worker. I stepped across the line in part due to our friendship outside of work and in part because of my temper.
I do feel bad for my actions. It was very unprofessional of me. In hindsight, I should have asked that we reschedule the meeting for a better time. I want to say I'm sorry but I also want to make sure she knows that her lack of attention was rude. So far all of the apologies I've come up with haven't seemed like much of an apology. Should I just be the better person and say sorry without any comment on her rudeness?
The meeting started off late because the new girl was finishing up some stuff from a previous meeting that had ended a bit late. No big deal. I kept working on something of my own while I waited. And waited... Finally, I tried to get the meeting started because I had to leave at 5 so time was limited. It became very clear that the new girl wasn't paying attention. She was sending emails and chatting with people on-line instead of listening to what we were talking about. I was starting to get annoyed. To the point that I pointed out to her that she needed to pay attention (in a light manner so it didn't offend). This had little effect.
In my opinion, it's one thing to multi-task when you are in a meeting with many people and your full attention is not needed. I thought this situation was different. We were reviewing a list of action items that were now the new girl's responsibility. Her lack of attention was rude and I had plenty of other work to do.
The multi-tasking continued until I pushed her laptop screen down. I unintentionally pushed it down so far that the laptop went into hybernate mode. That got her attention! She was rather miffed that I had essentially shut down her computer. My response, "I don't care." Fellow bloggers, this is not an action I would normally take with a co-worker. I stepped across the line in part due to our friendship outside of work and in part because of my temper.
I do feel bad for my actions. It was very unprofessional of me. In hindsight, I should have asked that we reschedule the meeting for a better time. I want to say I'm sorry but I also want to make sure she knows that her lack of attention was rude. So far all of the apologies I've come up with haven't seemed like much of an apology. Should I just be the better person and say sorry without any comment on her rudeness?
posted by Tosa at
8:18 AM
3 Comments:
You could say "Sorry I shut down your computer, but I wanted to make sure that you were up to speed with these new responsibilities." And then see what she says in response. Hopefully, she realizes what a jerk she was being and apologizes.
By
The Writer, at 10:56 AM
I agree with the writer - it's a good tactic. You could also mention that you were trying to make sure the transition was as easy as possible for her. You may not have time to answer questions later since you will be busy in your new role.
Good luck!
By
Maple, at 11:03 AM
I think the writer is right...just explain how busy you are and you felt that she should have told you if she didn't have time to actually pay attention.
By
Networkchic, at 9:36 AM
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